The Strong Ones

People in leadership positions are four times more likely to commit suicide. Today’s leaders are the “Strong Ones”. As leaders, we often manage many huge responsibilities, both professionally and personally. While I don’t think I suffer from chronic Depression, like many leaders, I do regularly face significant stress and self-doubt where I do get very depressed. It’s hard to admit these struggles maybe because I’m afraid of coming across as weak or incapable.

Here’s a confession: I tend to often post comments like, “check in on your strong friends, or “don’t forget the Strong Ones”, and when I post messages like that, those are often the times I desperately need someone to check in on me.

Being the “Strong One” comes with its challenges. I’m the rock for my family, the problem-solver for the business, a mentor, and the shoulder for my friends to lean on. I also carry the burden of all the non-English speakers in America as I build my business, CoVoice. I can’t let them down!

For 90% of the time, I’m that guy who “has all the answers” and gets things done. But when that 10% hits. . . It sucks bad!

During those times, I doubt myself deeply and feel incredibly lonely. Trust me, I know I’ve placed myself in this role; the ever-reliable, always positive one, and I take full ownership for why people might not think to check in on me. I’ve become too great at appearing like I have everything figured out. The truth is, I don’t.

They’re the times I step away and avoid reaching out for help, maybe because I worry that doing so might take away from the strength others see in me.

I’ve seen therapists over the years, but it’s been inconsistent lately due to my last three therapists leaving their practice, which triggers my abandonment issues, or abandonment “wounds” as a friend tells me to call it.

This isn’t for you to feel sorry for me in any way, but a call to action for everyone who knows a leader. Remember, even the “Strong Ones” among us face challenges, often silently. Those individuals who appear strong, but understand what Robin Williams must have been going through, and are also navigating their own struggles. They dedicate themselves to supporting others, but we too need support. The kind bosses, the mentors, the supervisors, the responsible ones, the great friends; we project certainty, but we cry in doubt too.

I urge you to check in on the leaders in your life. Even a simple message of support can deeply impact their well-being. And as I write this, I come up with the realization that, there are no truly “Strong Ones” as many often believe; we are all navigating this complex world, and facing ups and downs; It just looks different for others.

Let’s save lives and commit to supporting each other, recognizing that even the strongest leaders benefit from a check-in. A small gesture of understanding and support can make a huge difference. Let’s not just assume in business, but lead in compassion and empathy for those often forgotten.